Wow, it's been a year exactly since I've written. I want to write daily, but for the right reasons and to the right audience. How does a writer find an audience? How does an entrepreneur find a niche? How does anybody find his/her passion? You just do. You don't measure options, don't linger in the background for calculation of trajectory. You just go. And if your grammar isn't right, your step is off, or your lines are fumbled, you just press on, and hope for another chance. Hope for a new day. A day to explore, to love, to praise the one who gave you the ability to try. Let's go! Today I've been thinking...minimally, to be quite frank. In my defense, I started early to take a licensing exam, fighting residual effects of last night's insomnia... Made it through the test with enough time left over to satiate my pride, but I still failed. Retake this week or next, after trooping through 8 chapters of review. I'm quite honestly motivated by money - the faster I learn, the faster I earn. :) So that sapped my brain. As a treat for sitting and clicking for 4 hours, I moseyed on over to Border's and spent 3.5 hours wandering around, browsing, carrying tomes and depositing them in the wrong places when I changed my mind. :/ I feel bad for that... But if it were a library, there would be a deposit cart or a front desk or some such neat system. Maybe I should have drafted a card for the suggestion box. "There were two hundred kneecaps...all sold in a reputable hospital in Milwaukee." I love the random soundbytes that pop up throughout my day. Or those minsicule-ly magic moments when a word is either in front of you or leaving your mouth just as you hear someone a table, shopping cart, or tv screen away, say the same word. ! The stroll through Borders was, while exhilarating (Shakespeare and ADD purchases!) also somehow just as lacking in excitement. So I arrived at home (after avoiding the long scenic road recently cut into a broad and tall forest for fear of killing small animals) pooped. I was ready to pop in a movie. After all, who wants to think when...ya don't want to think? Luckily, I remembered I had some errands to run. Mom joined me for company. While at Sears gawking at refrigerators, we struck up a conversation with a great lady who has loads of knowledge about our government and it's 'green' practices. I need her to be my mentor. See, I come from one of those families so intense that managing family relationships takes all of our focus. Jobs are secondary. Really. Speaking of family, I've been thinking about my family. My dad, specifically. He came to visit me in May. First time I'd seen him in 5 years! It was good to see him. It was kind of awkward, but at the end...I didn't want him to leave. Of course. We spent our last evening together walking around the block and talking about religion, as we're so good at doing. [He is a Muslim, and I follow Christ. We've talked about these things before, and we always end with agreements to pray for each other. I love it. We're...so sly, but so obvious at the same time. The most important thing is that we love each other, and that we don't let 'being right' get between us. (Of course, days might come when 'truth' will take precedence over relationship, but I pray that our hearts and minds will be open to pursuing truth and God, so that we will be united by the Truth, rather than separated by 'truths.')] But we walked and talked and listened, and sat on the front porch...with stars and moon out... how lovely. He had to be up early to catch his morning flight, but we pushed 2am before we turned in. The day after he left, I remembered Josh Groban's song, Awake. It was perfect for my daddy and me. Here are the lyrics: A beautiful and blinding morning
The world outside begins to breathe
See clouds arriving without warning
I need you here to shelter me
And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other
So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today
If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same
And I know that only time will tell me how
We'll carry on without each other
So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to be this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today
We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with me
All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see
We can't stay this way forever
But I have you here today
And I will remember
Oh I will remember
Remember all the love we shared today
Thanks very much to Josh Groban and the songwriter. So Baba, I hope you read this someday. I miss you. You're the best. Come back - stay!! You can bring the kids and Ahlam; our house is your house. Yours truly, Baba. | 
